Emotional Vultures

Today’s topic is ‘Emotional Vultures’.

You know those people who are absolutely awful in every way, terrible for you, your self esteem and your bank balance and god knows what else… and with whom you would be perfectly capable of dispatching with all haste when you are in a confident and strong frame of mind, but who always seem to come around when you are feeling weak and vulnerable, and somehow push themselves into your life and make you feel weaker so you can’t seem to get rid of them… ack I’m tripping on my words here, but FUCK!
I seem to be surrounded by them and my theory is to just COMPLETELY IGNORE THEM, because I’m probably not really strong enough at the moment to just TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF.
Or maybe… hey WAIT A MINUTE! Aren’t you…?
*sound of Sponging*
AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

>>>Employee of the Month<<<

I am September's “Employee of the Month”! Yay me!!

Apparently, doing the job of two people is a feat people appreciate!

Now while the cynical interpretation might be that the award is really the equivalent of a lolly-pop instead of a pay rise, a promotion or such, nonetheless I felt ‘special’. And not in a ‘special-ed’ kind of way… I guess I feel like I kick ass, and everyone knows it.
That's a good feeling.
Today made the whole thing ironic though – "employee of the month" was hung over and crawling around at work, barely achieving anything and doing everything wrong because he was too tired to think straight! I kept thinking ‘They’re gonna take this award off me so fast!!”
Anywho… today was weird. Nice, but shit.
I guess life’s like that in general though, huh..?

For you

If I go
would you want to come too
but be too scared to risk it
and stay?
If I stay
would I want to be with you
but let it all end up the same?
Life is so short
I think I’m nearly half dead
And things still aren’t going my way.
I keep waiting until tomorrow
to do what I shouldn’t do today.

I think I love you
but I’m too scared to ask you
to be with me
because I’m afraid.
Maybe I’m wrong and I can’t be as amazing
as you make me think I can be…

Be with me!
Stay with me!
Spend the night,
if only this night,
let us both feel what I know can be.

I can be happy
if I’m wrong and I know it
I can be any damn thing
And if I’m right
I could spend every night
playing music and hearing you sing.
But I still don’t ask it
because maybe we’d feel it
and you’d still be this far from me,
leaving me drinking,
eternally sinking
into bitterness, rage and ennui.

Different Rules...

Ever noticed there’s more than one set of rules? It depends, not even on who you are, but on who people think you are.
This morning, I drove my car to work instead of taking the motorbike, and I discovered a curious anomaly.
Ok. Picture the scenario. I’m riding a bike which out-accelerates your average family car but a factor of about 3. by which I mean, in one second, moving away from a stop, with an equivalent amount of throttle, I will cover about 3 times as much ground as your average car.
On top of this, as you might well imagine, I use more throttle than your average road user; being, as I am, a bit of a lunatic.
So here’s the situation: I turn onto a side street behind someone who is in a far slower vehicle, and using that vehicle in a much slower way than I would be using it. Being, as I am, traveling on a much faster vehicle, I effortlessly accelerate past the slower road user and I happily go on my way, at my own pace.
But today, given exactly the same situation, I effortlessly accelerated past the slower road user in my commodore, and I received furious, judgemental anger, displayed by endlessly flashing high beams and wild gesticulation as I drove away.
Interesting, I thought, that if anything I was less aggressive and more patient than I would have been on the bike, and instead of the passive submission to which I’ve become accustomed, he was furious. Outraged, if you will.
It got me thinking. See, people have a certain idea of what motorcyclists are like as people: they are somewhat intimidating, incredibly aggressive, dangerous, fearless. In short: crazy. Most people are afraid of motorcycle users, thinking, almost always incorrectly, that the motorcyclist is hoping to be killed on the road, so don’t piss them off.
But the idea people have of fellow car drivers is ‘every other car user is inferior to me!’
So how dare another car driver speed past me, despite me clearly holding him up?
Seriously, why should I follow this man, for potentially most of my journey, at HIS pace? That’s just plain rude. I never told him he needed to speed up. I never followed closely to intimidate him into speeding up. Instead, I just waited for a safe moment, and I went past. I didn’t do anything dangerous. I only even sped temporarily.
It was plain silly. But still, it gave rise to some interesting thoughts.
Today, my boss left via the back door, despite there being clear rules that no one can do that.
I told her I would do the same thing, and she said ‘you’re not allowed!’
Interesting, isn’t it?


No. No it isn’t.

FUCK!!!

So thank fucking god the status quo has returned and there is, once again, only ONE black haired layabout who gets in my way and sponges off me staying at my house; Oscar.
Ahh he’s such a good boy.
Anywho, I’m kinda tepid-drunk and ranting, but at least there is some ebb to the overwhelming stress which has built up inside me over the last couple of weeks.

Let me just say it once, for my own benefit…

FUCK!!!!

Some people just make me really angry. And then some people take it past that and just take every possible fucking advantage they can until they are told to FUCK RIGHT OFF, and I wonder how the fuck they can be so completely SOULLESS as to exist in such a GUILT FREE existence. Ya know, NORMAL people would feel bad for being such a blight upon their friends, but hey, who am I to judge? What do I know about normal?

Anyway… I’ve vented. I feel better now. *shudder* So dirty…

In other news, haha I beat Dan-the-ManMan at bowling!! Haha yeah take that Beardo! You suck!
Pity that god damn JAMMY BITCH kept bowling in the 150s… fuck… I swear I want to know how she kept doing that!!!

Anyway losing isn’t so bad, as it turns out. There’s Jack Daniel’s involved!! Also, on that note: Hey, cute girl who works at Bowland and is awesome: You’re cute and awesome! Let’s do lunch, or whatever the cool kids are saying these days. You’re cute.

Time, as they say, is of the essence, but I don’t know what that means. I think I have to stop talking now.

Until next time, GO TO HELL!!

Random thoughts on a Wednesday Night

Now thinking: I love how riding a motorbike makes even the tedious art of commuting seem fun.

Well it’s Thursday... no it's not. But it IS WEDNESDAY, and we all have at least one thing for which to be grateful: none of us will ever have to watch this year’s Ashes series again. Oh My Fuck Ing God it was painful. To see our “best” batting like a group of 12 year old girls, who aren’t good at batting… well, it makes one feel all funny inside. And not in a good way!
Something for which probably none of us DO feel grateful is that it is officially spider season once again.
Oscar and I returned from our little ‘walk’ last night looking like something out of the Mummy. Probably even one of the Mummies or something. I dunno, I haven’t seen it..
Anyway… on the down side, no one came to their doors to ogle the weirdo who plays his headphones so loud they can hear, dances, and sings along. Not sure why but I kinda get a kick out of being ‘the singing weirdo’ to so many people in my neighbourhood. I think maybe it’s because I BELIEVE that people need to lighten up and stop thinking things like singing and dancing are weird to do in public.
Did you ever think you talk too much?
Me either.
WOO! Mountain Goats!

The Best Thing I Ever Did!

So yesterday I decided it would be a GREAT idea to get the Opeth symbol tattooed RIGHT ON MY FUCKING FACE!

Wicked, huh?

Now every can see at a glace just how cool I am. Also, how tough. Also, how meaningful I am... what with the music I listen to... and how I have the BALLS to come out and TELL everyone that I LIKE OPETH! YEAH!

On top of which, the symbol itself just means so much to me... with all of its... meanings... very meaningful, i think.

Up next on the agenda for Sean's AWESOME FACIAL MODIFICATIONS: Get a little LCD screen sewn into my forehead which will show what song I'm currently playing on my IPOD!

Yay! Finally, I'm cool!!!

Better and Worse

So I've been going through this (fucking) Devin Townsend/Strapping Young Lad phase lately, and it's showing in my lyrics, some might say in a scary kind of way.

Anyway I thought that a little 'introduction' might be in order... so now (if you will), put on ALIEN, turn it (all the fucking way) up, and read these (fucking) lyrics (man) - the music should set the tone I was feeling when I wrote this...

(We be pirates...)

Better and Worse

I want to be the one to make you laugh
I want to be the one to make you cry
I want to be the one to make it better
I want to be there to help when the kittens die
I want to be the one to make you complete
and spend forever together hand and feet
just the two of us
better and worse
I want to be the one to make you happy
I want to be the one to make you sad
I want to be the one to shout insults in public
I want to be the one to make you so fucking mad
I want to be the one who makes you laugh
I want to be the one who makes you cry
I want to be the one who makes you angry
And makes you tell all of your little fucking lies
I want you to be the one I call my wife
I want to be the one who wrecks your life
I’ll become the one you can’t bear leave
And then I’ll tear you down to size!

And I
I want to fuck you up!
I want to make you beg
For me to stop
but I'll never stop!
Not until we make up
And I say sweet words
That make you feel ok
They’re just words
They don’t mean anything
And inside you’ll know
It’s not ok
And it never will be
But I won’t ever leave
I won’t leave you alone
You’re mine