If I was dead I would not have to go to work

Picture it.
You are alone on a deserted beach.
You are relaxed, covered in sun-tanning oil, the kind nobody sells anymore because it's no longer 'cool' to look good, and wearing the only thing you've ever felt comfortable in; your banana-hammock.
And your mirrored aviators.
But that goes without saying.
As you watch the waves roll in, feel the gentle breeze on your face, take another sip of the luke-warm beer you have been nursing for the last 3 hours, you suddenly realise that this is the happiest moment you have ever experienced in your entire life.
You think to yourself 'Wow. This is really living!'
And suddenly you are happier than you have ever been.
Then you wake up. You realise you fell asleep on the beach. Your beer has spilled on your stomach and some really ugly girl is licking it off. You jump up and awake.
You realise you fell asleep on the beach, and dreamed you had awoken. You look around and the beach is crowded with sexy, scantily clad girls playing volleyball.
You spill your beer on your lap, and you wake up.
You realise you fell asleep on the beach. There is no one around. You now have beer soaking into your lap and it feels cool.
And you smile.