A dream come true

So you know how in.. like... I dunno... movies or something... maybe not... maybe TV.. or... maybe just in my head I dunno...

But see... there's this family and they're looking at houses to buy on a small income... and everything they see is either awful, tiny or both... then then find one which is right next door to a hog fat rendering plant... and the agent says to them 'Once you get used to the smell of rendered hog fat, you'll wonder how you ever did without it!'

and then they find a place which is just perfect and they offer what they can but it's a bit less than what the owners want for it and somehow things fall into place and the young family get this amazing house and everything works out for them and it's just like a dream come true.

You know what I'm talking about, right?

So anyway...

The agent says to us 'Once you get used to the smell of rendered hog fat...'

and we look at each other and we say 'We can't see a single thing wrong with this house, other than where it is'

And we sign a contract.

And you never know, we just might end up living next to the rendering plant!

Or something.

So anyway we've offered less than what the owners want on this place which is just friggin' perfect, other than the fact it's right on a main road where people will speed past and do burnouts on our lawn and such and such.

Maybe we're just stupid and not thinking about the fact that where the house is really sucks, or maybe everyone else is just really stupid.

I dunno.

But this time next week we just might own a house.

Not next to a rendering plant.

But would a rendering plant be better...? Now that's the question.

It reminds me of a joke.

See this kid has a nightmare and he wakes up screaming.

His mum runs in and asks 'what's wrong?'

the kid replies 'i had a dream that grampa died.'

his mum smiles and assures him that grampa is just fine and will live to a healthy old age.

But the next morning she gets a call telling her, regretfully, that her father has passed away in the night.

understandably this shakes her up a little, and her poor son feels like it's all his fault.

So anyway the same thing happens a few nights later.

mother 'what happened??'

son 'i dreamed that uncle joe died!'

mother (somewhat less convincing this time) uncle joe is fine. don't worry about uncle joe.

But sure enough the next day she gets a call advising that her brother was killed in a car accident.

by this stage everyone is pretty shook up.

As you would be. damn blogger no auto caps.

moving on.

So a few nights later the child wakes up screaming again and his mum runs in and, a little nervously, asks what happened.

the child is crying this time and he tells her that he dreamed that his dad had died.

the mother, very nervously, tries to assure her son that everything will be fine.

but then she goes back to bed and tells her husband all about what has been happening.

now this shakes the poor man up and he finds it hard to sleep that night.

the next day he goes to work, bags under his eyes, he looks like hell, and he can't stop looking all around, trying to make sure nothing is going to fall on him or crush him etc.

he's nervous and distressed and finally his boss tells him to just go home and get some rest.

he arrives home, his hair and clothes all messed up, he drops himself onto the couch and tells his wife 'i've had the worst day of my life'

she replies 'you think you've had a bad day? the milkman dropped dead on our doorstep this morning!'

amen