My Trip Back to the 80s (or ‘What it was like when I payed $90 to go see Megadeth at the Thebby’)

My trip back into the 80s began with a visit to the 40s.

Thebarton Theatre.

I can imagine the name once inspired something other than what we think now.

Thebby.

The good ol’ Thebby.

How many times has it been condemned and ‘fixed’ now?

Anyway…

I walked in to that opulent and overwhelming red and brown time warp and I froze, just for a moment, as I always do, lost in a memory never actually experienced but subtly glimpsed, perhaps in a past life, or by an ancestor or distant relative. Who knows? It’s quite seriously a step back in time and these things always make me a tad nostalgic.

So I walked on fuzzy carpet, picturing myself dressed in tails and perhaps even a monocle, and I noticed another thing to be nostalgic about; smoke.

The venue, for the first time in my life, was not clouded with smoke. Who knew that making something illegal would discourage people from doing it? I mean, concerts have been non-smoking events for years and everyone smoked anyway. Most people smoking cones as well as cigarettes. I continued to enjoy this ‘smokelessness’ throughout the night, and on to the next morning as my hair and clothes did not reek of smoke a day later.

Anyway, having been suitably overwhelmed by tackiness and a lack of smoke, I continued on my journey back to the 80s.

And was nearly bowled over after a few short steps by Captain “get out of my way I have a beard”. Good thing I got out of his way; he had a beard!

Speaking of beards, I watched the, somewhat embarrassing, facial hair competition on stage which by far overshadowed the music playing through the PA at painful levels, for a while before I got completely distracted by the 6^th member of the spice girls – Shorty Spice! Couldn't believe she came all the way to Adelaide to see Megadeth! I tried to take photos of her but none really turned out, dammit. But nonetheless she was awesome. And nonetheless I grew bored and headed towards the bar.

“Jacks and coke, please”

The bartender picked up the smallest cup I’ve seen since the dentist handed me a cup and said ‘rinse and spit’.

“Uhh, just make it two’ I said.

“Do you want one of these?” the lady asked, picking up a pint ‘cup’.

I gave her a look that said ‘Why didn’t you say so in the first place?’ and I replied ‘Yes. Two jacks and cokes in that, please.’

She handed me the drink, and her face said ‘sorry, sir’

I drank the drink and ordered another and her face this time said ‘You’re a drunk’.

I walked back from the bar, somewhat less steadily, in time to witness the swearing ewok. I had to get out. What was with all these weirdos?

I took a walk around the block and then came back in time to see Megadeth begin. (Apparently the only other band I wanted to see played first and were gone. I was bummed, but I wasn’t going to let it ruin the whole 80s for me! The sound tech guy was primed and ready to do that for me.)

Dave Mustaine sneered onto the stage. He started playing something on his guitar.

Somebody please, turn the drums down? Please?

It’s ok, Dave’s sneering at the sound guy, I’m sure they’re going to turn the drums down.

Are you turning the drums down?

Ok, so you’re not going to turn the drums down.

Fine.

I’ll just listen really, really hard.

Hmm. I can hear drums. Oh wait, there’s some really annoying, distorted noise which… no, wait.. that’s drums.

Incidentally, did you ever hear the joke that goes “What’s the difference between a drummer and a kaleidoscope? One makes simple patterns that would amuse a 4 year old and the other you look through”

Megadeth is a guitar assault. The point of the band is the awesome guitar playing. And the guitar playing was awesome. Seriously awesome. The guys stood up there and did things I could only dream about and they made it look easy; like they weren’t even trying.

Simply amazing guitar playing which blew my mind.

Which is especially amazing given that I could hardly hear it.

Whoever was responsible for the sound mix that night should be shot.

Turn down the drums! Just a little, godammit.

Just a little and my trip to the 80s would be complete.

But a Megadeth concert just wouldn’t be right without SOMETHING to sneer about, now would it?