Stuff 'n' Junk

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Final Result

So this is what I sent for publication. It's plainly not as good. God damn conformist medium that is minority print... hehe



Peter Lloyd’s A Fingerpost for Rembrant begs the question; how does pretentious drivel like this get published? ‘A streetlight-trashcan – bucket of circle-shadows, tremors on almost still life – lost mumbling-limbs in mini-lashes of chemical death.’ (Snap/click, p 40) What the hell is that? What it is, is an excerpt from what was, without doubt, the most self-indulgent and pretentious thing I’ve ever read, including my own poetry!
Reading this, I guessed I could make an almost identical poem, by randomly choosing words out of a dictionary! And I was right!
The result? Fawn repugnance / Giddy, trave / Marshall / Use, exploit / Nevermore!
Need I say more? Yes Lloyd has studied the art of writing, and yes his deliberate use of broken phrases, and combination of both romantic and common language (particularly in The Lilac Tree, p 18) can create an image of the beauty of life being forgotten in the haste of everyday tedium, and even investigate to a surprising emotional depth the dual nature of man’s ability to both care more than he can conceive, and to not-care beyond what he can condone. But the questions is: ‘Do you want to read this book?’ And the answer is ‘No.’

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Xen and the Art of Cricket Commentating

Also Known As Paranoid Thoughts of the Stoned Mind

Also Known As Peter Lloyd Review Take 3


See, the other night I was watching the cricket, and I was kinda stoned. I began writing a story about how the commentators on SBS were saying strange things, and this is what came out. Funny the way the mind works. Funny... hah... ha...


*********************************************************************

Maybe it was the bong-toking, but did anyone else notice the stoned gibberish emanating forth from the SBS cricket commentary box tonight?
Seriously.
I mean, I can understand that these guys have spent several weeks now, watching Australia bat, and having hours upon boring hours pass trying to find something to talk about, but for serious! These guys were garbling on as good as me at my most stoned and introspective!
Listening to those English ex-cricketers, I began wondering; is everyone as stoned and fucked in the head as I am right now? Is it in the air? Is it being ducted through my house via an intricate sequence of tubes and ducts?
It was soon after this that I realised I was

a) being stupidly paranoid, and

b) staring blankly, oblivious to anything going on around me.

I looked to my left. Freddie had said something.
What was it?
I thought quickly: had he noticed my lapse? Was he aware of the thoughtful look on my face right now?
My eyes darted sideways; he was watching!
He knows.
Fuck!
‘Uhh… What..?’
‘What the fuck are these guys talking about?’ He asks, but I notice the look of contempt in his eye. Oh he knows alright.
But oh yeah, the stoned commentators! That’s exactly what I was talking about!
I laugh, but it sounds forced, kinda like ‘hah. Ha..’ it is obvious my mind is elsewhere.
‘Seriously. The moral dilemma of the modern game? It’s an emotional journey through the self?
Whatever. I’m really paranoid right now, fuck it. I can’t seem to talk about anything important at all; my mind just wont stay focused on the subject.
So I’m just gonna babble.
Australia are in with a chance? Bullshit. Fridge, you seriously must be smoking as much hash as the lost-it fools in the commentary box. Australia could bowl out England for only another 15 runs and still we’d lose the match.
And what is with people using the term ‘graphic novel’. What is it? A book. With pictures. And text in captions.
Oh, it’s a comic!
Yes, it’s a fucking comic.
So if it’s a comic, call it a fucking comic, you fucking pretentious fucks!
Ps, I’m fucked. I need to find out if I can pay a stupid fucking debt tomorrow and hence not have to go to court. *sigh*
Stupid things that suck.
Speaking of stupid things that suck, Peter Lloyd’s A Fingerpost for Rembrant, begs the question; how does shit like this get published? Drivel! Tedious, pretentious drivel!

A streetlight-trashcan –
bucket of circle-shadows,
tremors on almost still life –
lost mumbling-limbs
in mini-lashes
of chemical death.’ (Snap/click, p 40)

What the hell is that?!
And the really hard thing for me was that I was worried if I didn’t at least say I liked this book, Entropy magazine (and perhaps even you, noble-yet-innocent-Entropy-reader) was going to assume that this reviewer is just plain critical of everything. I was facing the ‘you don’t like anything firing-squad!
But then I got over it.
And I got over it because I realised that this book sucks. A Fingerpost for Rembrant is, without doubt, the most self-indulgent and pretentious thing I’ve ever read, and I’ve read my poetry!
But not to be discouraged, I searched around for a way to have enourmous fun with this review despite the handicap, and I found one: copy-and-paste-poetry!
So play along now, kiddies, and see if I can create a more interesting (and just plain better) poem than Snap/click, simply by randomly choosing words out of a dictionary!

A more interesting poem which I named:

The Result

Fawn repugnance
Giddy, trave
Marshall
Use, exploit
Nevermore!

Need I say more?

Yes Lloyd has studied the art of writing, and yes his deliberate use of broken phrases, and combination of both romantic and common language (particularly in The Lilac Tree, p 18) can create an image of the beauty of life being forgotten in the haste of everyday tedium, and even investigate to a surprising emotional depth the dual nature of man’s ability to both care more than he can conceive, and to not-care beyond what he can condone. But the questions is: ‘Do you want to read this book?’ And the answer is ‘No.’

2/2 Middle Fingerposts for Peter Lloyd.


******************************************************************************


Well? DO YOU?? Didn't think so...

In other news...

Everyone you know has been killed, and replaced with a super-intelligent robot clone of themselves.
They are coming for you now. Don't worry; soon everything will be alright.
Oh and watch out for the cunning ones who say 'I'm not super-intelligent!' They're the worst ones! They've been programmed to act as dumb as the original people they've copied, THAT'S THEIR GENIUS!
BE AFRAID!
But not for long..

Monday, August 29, 2005

Thought for the day

I like when the big hand is on the little hand, but it's illegal.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Slightly modified Peter Lloyd review...

I made a few "tiny" changes to my original review, after a discussion with Freddie.

So here's the final copy I'm sending on to Entropy! See how long it takes you to notice the changes... they are quite subtle...

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Horrible book. The only people who should read this is the blind and they should never be allowed any where near a braille version of it for fear that they might want to cut their fingers off, because after reading this drivel i wanted to gouge my own eyes out.

The Angry Adventures of Ronnie Valentino

I've started writing a story. It's rough to say the least; it's not edited and it's also aimless at this point, but I'm writing it and posting it on the Ronnievalentino blog. You can find the link in my links section.

The Angry Adventures of Ronnie is purely fiction. Any resemblance to any persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
*ahem*

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Peter Lloyd is going to hate me

I posted this review here before I was really convinced of its "finishedness", because I was kinda wondering if my opinion here was right: It's too harsh, and not funny enough.

Am I right?

I mean, yeah the book sucked, but the point of reviewing it is to get a laugh, right? Being right isn't enough if you're not funny.

If you care enough to spend 2 seconds writing, let me know what you think.

The finger for A fingerpost...


Peter Lloyd’s A Fingerpost for Rembrant makes me understand why people don’t want to read poetry.
It’s clear this man has studied the art of creative writing; he knows how to manipulate language for effect, and there's no doubt that he has a calculated reason for every single phrase in this collection. But if a novice writer used exactly the same style on accident, it’d be called what it is: bad writing.
There's simply no passion! Reading this book is like eating food without flavour. The words wash past without even a hint of interest. It’s not bad; it’s too boring to be bad.
I'm not saying there's no good here; Lloyd’s combination of romantic and common language (particularly in The Lilac Tree, p 18) creates an image of the beauty of life being forgotten in the haste of everyday tedium. But the good points of this book are forgotten in the haste of the bad points' tedium.
One man’s trash is another’s treasure, but I simply cannot imagine anyone being moved by what is contained within the pages of this pretentious and mediocre offering.
Two fingers up for Peter Lloyd. Two middle fingers.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Cute girls and their effect upon the normally rational brain

I dunno if any of you have experienced what I experience when talking to a girl I really like but hardly know, but I had a conversation yesterday which made me think my brain is out to sabotage any chance I might have of appearing charming.

See, there's this girl at work who's really nice. From what I've seen of her, she's just one of the happiest and sweetest people I've met. Whenever I talk to her she makes me feel happy. It's uplifting to talk to someone like that.

But see, I thought I'd like to actually get to know her, because it interests me to know how someone can be so chirpy and nice, even when under pressure from irritating customers.

So here's what happened...

I hadn't seen her for a few weeks, and she was finally at work again.
I'd had a big night out, and curiously enough I had woken up still feeling drunk. I'd had to drag myself to work and didn't even have time to stop and fill up on fatty breakfast material from a certain creepy clown's food establishment.

So as you might understand, I wasn't entirely at my best, so to speak.

I found out this girl was at work, so I made a really lame excuse to go say hi.
Here's how the conversation panned out.

Me: Hey! *smile*
Cute Girl At Work: Hey! *big smile*
Me: How are you? *bigger smile*
CGAW: Good! How are you? *big smile still*
Me: Drunk... *embarrassed look*

*awkward silence*

*customer comes and CGAW serves*

*Me stands awkwardly for a little longer and then walks off*

Yay.

So I've come to realise what happens in these situations.

See, my brain, usually working at a reasonable type of rate - not especially fast but fast enough that I can fool most people into thinking I'm normal - upon proximity of someone I'd really like to impress, suddenly switches off.
Then, when the moment comes where I need to find something to say other than meaningless pleasantries, I ask my brain for something, and it just blips, randomly switches on and throws out something terrible, like, for example: "Tell her how you like to shoot monkeys!"

And so I say: I like to shoot monkeys!

Which results in a response along the lines of "What?! That's TERRIBLE!!! Monkeys are so cute!"

So I turn to my brain and say "What the hell?! Why did you tell me to say that?!"
To which my brain, switched back on now that the moment is lost, replies "I dunno... She's cute."

*sigh*

Is there no hope? Will I forever remain an idiot in the eyes of the people I most wish to impress?

Moral of the story: Monkeys are cute.


*******************************************************************************

note: Monkeys at the zoo make easy targets. Just wear a long coat to cover your rifle.

The Meaning of Life

The other day I searched for the meaning of life. I typed "The Meaning of Life" into Google. I was given a link to a site which said "In order to be happy you must decide to be happy"

I could have told me that!

Superfriends on DVD! WOO!

Send all the money to the International World Airport! Then I’ll be free to buy ALL the toy stores in the world! Haha! Which will be especially convenient because that’s exactly where I’ll be; South-Central World, 5057.
Hooray for the Superfriends. If not for them, where else would we find such terrible, idiotic dialogue? Just where exactly IS this International World Airport? And does it have a Domestic terminal?
I managed to sit through the entire 2 hours of Superfriends episodes, but what I didn’t manage to do was to understand anything that the so called ‘super’ villains attempted. I mean, explain to me why these supposed ‘masterminds’ decided that the best plan of attack when using a time traveling device was to a) lure the Superfriends back in time, b) steal the treasures of particular times past, and c) leave the Superfriends there when they return.
Why not just travel back in time to before the Superfriends existed, and take over the world then? Just what exactly is it these villains WANT from their conquests? If we are to assume they seek money, don’t we all have something that we desire to purchase, as our reason for wanting money? Or do we really just feel so drawn to dirty, coloured paper that we find we can’t resist stealing it, just to have it near?
Alright, so I hear you saying ‘The Superfriends always existed, so they couldn’t just travel back in time to take over the world.’ If that is the case, why didn’t the ‘trapped’ Superfriends just simply contact the Superfriends of THAT ERA, and work out a plan of attack then?? And, that being the case, surely the Superfriends of today (being 1978, apparently) should surely have known about this attack coming for about 70 million years and hence been ready for it!!!
And don’t even get me started on the “Superfriend or foe’ game. What was the point of randomly guessing which supervillian was secretly a superfriend? There was no clue, no distinguishable difference between the characters, and in the end, no reason to care! Shouldn’t a game be FUN? Or at least INTERESTING? To be completely fair and objective towards this game, it is quite simply the lamest, stupidest and in every way worst game I’ve ever seen.
On the bright side, a third time through the game caused the DVD to freeze, forcing me to return to the opening menu screen, which by the way also sucks, except for the exclamation select arrow.

Overall DVD rating: 11/11 Superfriends gave this DVD 2 thumbs up.

Katatonia - Katatonic

Katatonia has a new song!! It's fantastic!! Lyrically their best yet, in my opinion. Also, I think his english is improving...

Katatonic


i am being here
so near
to where i was to be going

is this what you meant
i am spent
i am broken

you show me words
fears
i can hear
you are no longer near

i am being alive
but inside
i die

i lie
i am paralysed
katatonic

you show me so much it blinds me
why?
it's bad enough to see what you've done

I've said it before and I'll say it again...

It’s ten past 3, or just after, and it’s hot as hell. I’m sweating so that my shirt is damp and my glasses want to slide off my nose. It’s hot, and I’m trying to write something important.
Trying, but afraid, as always, that I’ll say it wrong. Or worse; not say it at all.
And here I am, already wasting time working on unimportant issues of grammar and syntax. No matter how hard I tell myself to focus on getting it down on paper (so to speak) I still find myself getting lost in the small issues that can always be fixed later.
So once again, to myself and for demonstration purposes: get it said, then worry about layout.
But what is it that I want to say? There’s so much to say that it seems overwhelming. Where do you start when everything you see seems to be wrong somehow? There doesn’t appear to be a beginning when everything is wrong and has always been in my eyes.
But a point seems to be as good as any other, so now to stop further time wasting with word-mincing.
The world is crazy.
And I know people say it all the time, and we all kinda look at them and think ‘yeah, all of us are crazy, you’re the only sane one.’ And people always see things their own way, so inevitably we don’t listen. It becomes irrelevant if they are right or wrong.
So maybe I’m the crazy one. And maybe there’s no point saying anything because no one will listen anyway. But dammit it feels so important. It always has.
People are lying to you. To all of us. People are taking your money, and making you think that you now have something important.
Cool.
What is cool? Cool is more than acceptance, right? It’s acceptance by the people you aspire to. Cool is fitting in. cool is not fitting in, sometimes. Cool is danger in the safest form, and cool is what we all want to be.
But what is it? Cool is an idea. It is a concept of identity, and one particularly prominent in today’s youth culture. No one wants to be that deadly word: uncool.
And who needs to be rich anyway, right? Who needs millions of dollars, fast cars, big houses, servants? Who needs money? Money doesn’t buy happiness, it’s true.
In fact, it buys quite the opposite. Money buys unhappiness every day, for millions of people.
The fact is that to survive in modern society you need at least a modicum of cash. You must pay bills, buy food, shelter, clothing, and transport. All of these things you must have, in order to keep acquiring the money needed to keep having these things.
And, it would seem, to be cool.
If your mum shops at target and op shops, you are not cool. If you wear dunlops instead of nikes, you are not cool. My girlfriend recently returned from a party where she found the other girls looked down upon her for not wearing supre clothing. The strange thing to me is that all of the girls were dressed the same way, if not wearing the same exact items, and Tammie was the one to be judged inferior. I suppose she wasn’t a matching clone, but does being different make you less cool?
Unimportant… so so trivial is the shallow ideals of schoolgirls.
Again I catch myself editing.
We are being sold this idea, so that we will spend the few dollars we can save over the years to make our later years comfortable. Who knows what tomorrow will bring anyway? No point dying with money in the bank! And let’s not forget: it’s not cool to get old.
But I can understand the selfish motives of a man who has found a way to make himself more money, a way which isn’t called stealing in any but a moral sense… *ahem*
But of the everyday consumer… how does our behaviour find explanation? Why do we throw away our meager pennies on rubbish we don’t want or need, whose prices become higher and higher every day and whose quality becomes ever poorer and poorer and ever more irrelevant. We are not the ones with huge sums of money in the bank! We are not the ones who can afford it! Why are we so easily led that we will buy this shit, just because we can?
We want our high standard of life, our high technology, our creature comforts, our life of luxury. But we seem to be dazzled all the time by image and marketing. We ignore the reality of a product in favour of its image; just as we are doing to the world in general.
For the sad reality is that the ever growing ‘produce, market, sell, consume, discard’ trend of the world is not self sustaining. Products are at affordable prices because they are made by slaves who struggle to survive. The products cannot be made by people who live like us because then the prices would have to go up a lot, to continue the disgusting profits seen by top executives from large corporations.
My own father made millions of dollars designing faster, smaller and more versatile computer parts, and he was just small-fry. He was just one man to provide a service to be bought, because large companies don’t make anything anymore. There is too much risk in owning a manufacturing plant – too many overheads, too many mouths to feed, and what if a product fails? It could be the end of the business! No, far better to pay a smaller company (who hires slaves and pays them a salary of rice and water) to build the products for you.
The moral criminals here are the ones who buy in designs, pay someone to build them, and then sell them for huge sums to consumers everywhere, who, despite having so many creature comforts, seem to always need more, prettier, faster, better ones. And I am no better! I buy fancy products, I have always lived in a large and spacious home and I am just another typical mindless consumer! But the issue isn’t “Who is to blame?” The issue is “There is something wrong. How do we fix it?”
How do we fix it? Can it even be stopped? And who will stop it? Who will step in and save the exploited people? Who will explain to a young audience that they are being manipulated by evil, greedy men? (And why would they listen to someone so uncool anyway?) The government? The government needs money to fund public health, public roads, public housing, education, defense, so on and so on and so on… the people who have the real money are not consumers. They are big business. Why would government step in and essentially castrate their main source of income? Even politicians have heard the expression “don’t bite the hand that feeds…”
Perhaps we could take some information, some research, some facts and figure to the people – broadcast it upon TV, the radio, print it in newspapers and magazines – let the people see the truth and decide for themselves. But oh, wait… who owns the TV stations, the newspapers, the radio…? Oh, right… men with lots of money… aye caramba, what a depressing notion.
No, there is no saviour here. There is no superman, despite the existence of very clear and real supervillians. There seems no hope at all for a world created by greedy and selfish men, and hence built to accommodate them and now so perfectly suited to their lifestyles.
Yes, this habitat of filthy rich men will slowly become unlivable for us, killing us all slowly; all the way up the “money chain” until even these rich men starve and die. But what do they care? Why the hell would you deprive yourself, for the sake of a future generation? Or for the sake of the rest of the world? Why? You wouldn’t, and the sad truth is that, let’s face it, none of us would. Even if the entire system were changed, would it make the world a good place? Almost inevitably things would be the same, just with other people taking advantage of a different set of circumstances. And perhaps there I find my answer – every day consumers keep buying mindlessly because we are all just as greedy as the moral criminals who profit from it – we are just too lazy to actually acquire that many of them.
Pity on us all, for we are the evil ones.

The Human Race is DOOMED!

Ma! Come quick! Freddie's on the cover of Rolling Stone!

RS: Freddie, thank you for joining us. How are you today?
KF: 6
RS: Out of ten?
KF: No, just 6. If anything, out of 6.
RS: Right… I’ll start by asking you: why do your friends call you ‘King Freddie’?
KF: Because I’m the king!
RS: Is your real name Freddie King?
KF: No. I don’t have a real name.
RS: That doesn’t make sense.
KF: I hereby proclaim that it does!
RS: But isn’t it true that you’re NOT really a king at all? Wasn’t this just a title you claimed for yourself?
KF: Hey! I may be self proclaimed, but I’m still the king!
RS: …and you have your faithful ‘Knights of Quip’?
KF: I am their King, they are my knights.
RS: So you have actually assigned titles to members of the public, your friends, and they have actually accepted a title you have created? They actually walk around, telling people they are your knights? Are they insane? Are they complete losers? Have they no self esteem or concept of personal respect or pride?
KF: They are my knights. I gave them knighthoods for my kingdom; the Kingdom of Quip. Yes they have accepted the titles. It is a great honour to be given a Knighthood!RS: Yes… well a real one certainly would be…
KF: Do you want me to summon my executioner?!RS: Moving along… Just what is the story of the knights? How did they come about?
KF: I am on a mission to find 6 Knights; 6 men worthy of the title of Quip. 6 funny men. 6 harsh men. 6 bold and courageous men to cut through the boring monotony of life with smart-arse observations. At the moment there are 4 Knights, and one disgraced, banished for the betrayal of his oath.
RS: What is so important about the number 6?
KF: It’s one more than 5…
RS: It’s also an upside-down 9..
KF: Actually, I think you’ll find a 9 is an upside-down 6…
RS: You’re weird.
KF: I’ll take that as a compliment.
RS: One last question, before we finish up. If not now, when?
KF: Thursday.

The story of Cuntarse, the band

The dream to start Cuntarse came, as most truly good ideas do, when we were drunk. The details are kinda hazy in my memory but I remember my brother, the self-confessed angry man who sits across from me, gulping down jack daniel’s (excuse the product placement) while I dictate this story to you, and I were listening to Anal Cunt and laughing our arses off. How ‘in your face’ and confrontational these lyrics were. It was genius, we both freely acknowledged at the time, although I may be the only one of us who still holds this belief.
But there we sat, drinking and laughing and pretending we weren’t thinking sad and angry thoughts about the awful women who had done us wrong most recently, and the idea seemed to strike us both simultaneously: we need to start a band like this! An ASSHOLE band! It must be as rude, as offensive, and as close in style, theme, genre and even NAME as possible to our heroes: Anal Cunt.
My first suggestion for a name was “cunt anal”, and aaron’s answer was blah. But a friend of mine was, at the time, going through a phase where he loved experimenting with terribly inappropriate and yet thouroughly ‘Australian’ expressions such as “foaming at the gash” and “cuntarse”. It occurred to me that this was the perfect name for the band and everyone agreed. Everyone being Aaron.
Perhaps he never actually agreed, but as I said, the details are kinda hazy.
So we had two things: an idea, and now a name!
From there it was only a case of the easy parts. Ya know: writing music, organizing a band, practice, advertising, equiptment, gigs…
Yeah. We were in serious denial.
Or at least, I was. I think aaron’s incessant defeatism remained stoically steadfast on the idea of our success: nothing ever happens, everything sucks.
Anyways… a week later, I had written our first song: The Cuntarse Anthem. I forget the words now, but I remember it was 2 chords, and the gist of the lyrics was essentially: we suck and so do you.
It was exactly what we were looking for, and we were both pretty happy with it. We did, however, never perform it. I remember I played it to Aaron, whose enthusiasm was mild at best, and that was it. It was never played again.
Until..
Yeah nah I just threw that in for effect. It was never played again.
The whole concept of the band was then discarded, hidden in a closet along with so many other failed ideas, and every last one of my boyhood hopes and dreams.


It was nearly 6 months later that the idea came back out of the closet of lost causes, covered in metaphorical cobwebs and bull dust. We had become well acquainted with a very strange, yet highly intelligent individual. A side note here being that, in my experience all intelligent people come across as strange. I think this perhaps has something to do with society not really allowing for individual thought, but I digress. We had become well acquainted with a young man by the name of Darryl, aka Freddie.
Freddie was a candidate for Aaron’s previously unchallenged title of “World’s Angriest Man!” (Exclamation mark included, as the similar title without it is actually trademarked by Hollywood.) He was antisocial, quick witted, and in other words, he was just like us, only cuter.
When he heard about the concept of cuntarse, (we were drunk one night…) he became incredibly enthusiastic. He felt the band would be a perfect vent for his anger and frustration at the world, and at the awful girl who had done him over most recently, and he began writing lyrics that very night.
Unfortunately, Freddie was a poetic and talented man, and he seemed not to have grasped the very bones and indeed most important element of the band – it had to suck in every aspect and sense possible.
Freddie’s eloquently worded rants upon the world were hilarious. Just reading his dry witted satire of malls, blondes, and people who drive cars was enough to raise tears of laughter from all of us. But that was just the problem – they were GOOD!
We couldn’t have constructive criticism in a band whose very theology was that we were the most awful thing in existence. At least, that’s what I thought, and so we descended into bitter disagreement, until yet again the idea of Cuntarse was canned.
It seemed we were over before we’d ever begun.
And we were.

Sorry

Yeah I'm sorry. Third address and same content. Turns out I already HAD a blogspot account anyway... so now I'm using the OLD one... which is confusing me beyond capacity now...

*brain makes scary sizzling noises like Freddie's screen last night*

So anywho.. yeah I'll get around to putting up the same material here... only because I really can't get access to the 'how much everything sucks' page again... *sigh* Sometimes you really have to wonder why you bother.

Why am I bothering now? Good question.

Rainy, rainy day

Your eyes are grey,
in this light.
It makes it so hard for me not to cry:
your beauty makes me want to kill myself
knowing what I put you through.

You cannot ever know
how much
I’m sorry.
But if you ever look at me again
I’m sure you’ll see
At least the part about
what you mean to me.

If nothing else you’ll have a clue
how little I wanted to do
what I did to you,
to you…

Forgive me…
…if you can,
because I want you to let go
of all the pain I caused you
and be free.
I’m just a foolish man
you don’t need to fear me.
Believe what you hope in your heart:
I never planned this,
If I knew the end
I swear I'd never even let it start

I love when it rains
It's like the sky is weeping on my shoulder
It hides my tears,
and people might be fooled into thinking
I’m ok.
I can be myself.
Because no one can be sure
it’s not the rain
that courses down
And saturates the ground…