Ramble

I'm feeling very poetic lately. Probably inspired by the fact that I am currently reading W. Somerset Maugham's Of Human Bondage.
I'm still struggling through ups and downs. Kinda weird. But it seems I'm improving slowly. Or maybe quickly, compared to the progress I've made for the last 30 years!
I had an idea today about the bleakness of this winter. It occurred to me, as I stepped off the bus, that my life has been hard, of late.
I've been trying to achieve a great deal of things, and everywhere I turn there are more obstacles.
Life is always like that I think. But somehow I've felt a little like Christopher Gardner.
Greatly exaggerated, of course, but nonetheless, I've struggled to improve my 'lot'.
It suddenly occurred to me that my progress seems to be in time with the seasons, and maybe, come summer, I will finally be where (and who) I want to be.
And so on and so forth.
rant Ramble = Preamble/rant

Bleak Winter

A cold season is upon us,
heavy with damp and failure.
Progress is slow;
army of one
marching through treacle.
Each achievement,
grains of sand from the mountain
of things that need to be done.
Improvement?
Postponed.
Enlightenment?
Delayed.
Happiness?
Coming. Oh so slowly coming;
as a day dawning
after a lifetime of twilight.
Summer is the dawn.
Its sunrise sheds a light of hope
on the horizon of a lifetime;
a lifetime full of sorrow and disillusionment.
I see that light shining
and I walk towards that far off horizon
all the while hoping that
this time
I will not be disappointed.
This time
I will not disappoint.

For when that summer day has dawned
I want it to find me
as I've never been:
at peace.
Secure.

Smiling.