So I got another one of those email survey things...

1. What is your occupation? hate you
2. What colour is your underwear today? fuck off
3. What are you listening to now? me yawning... because i'm so BORED
4 What was the last thing you ate?
YOUR SHIT!
5. Do you wish on stars? I wish you'd SHUT UP!
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? if i were a crayon, i'd shove it UP YOUR ARSE!
7. How is the weather right now? ya know what... this is called a double whammy.... i save this only for special occasions...

..!., ,.!..

8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? *click*
9. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
are you still on the line?!
10. How old are you today?
i wish i was DEAD!
11. Favorite drink?
the lot
12. Favorite sport to watch?
that's what SHE said!
13. Have you ever dyed your hair?
RECTALLY!
14.Do you wear contacts or glasses?
do you ever stop being boring?
15. Pets?
well... or to just anyone.. but ok... do you ever stop boring pets?
16. Favorite month?
god you remind me of my first WIFE!
17. Favorite food?
everything except sand
18. What was the last movie you watched?
your mum
19. Favorite day of the year?
hate you day - every single day
20. What do you do to vent anger?
oh YOU'LL see...
21. What was your favorite toy as a child?
my voodoo doll shaped like you... oh look, i still have it...
22. Autumn or Spring?
what? no it's kinda cloth stuffed with sawdust...
23. Hugs or kisses?
FAG!
24. Cherry or Blueberry?
umm... die?
25. Do you want your friends to email you back?
i didn't want you to email me in the FIRST PLACE!
26. Who is most likely to respond? to you asking everyone to kill me?
oh well... see i thought you were gonna just keep being boring but that's an awesome question! EVERYONE! because you're so UTTERLY BORING!
27. Who is least likely to respond? to allegations that i'm a fag?
haha fag
28. Living arrangements?
dying arrangements?
29.When was the last time you cried?
ask your dad that question
30. Whats on the floor of your closet?
an apostrophe
31. Who is the friend you have had the longest?
dogshit
32.What did you do last night?
santa claus
33. Favorite smell?
your mum
35. What are you afraid of?
that's what SHE said!
36. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?
RECTALLY!
37. Favorite car?
God you remind me of my first WIFE!
38. Favorite dog breed?
knock knock
39. Who's there?
fuck off
40. Number of keys on your key ring?
two words... pretty easy to understand..
41. How many years at your current job?
"fuck": quite simple...
41. Favorite day of the week?
"off": VERY simple
42. How many states have you lived in?
FUCK OFF!
43. How many cities/towns have you lived in?
smokes, let's go *snaps fingers*
44. How many fingers am I holding up?
just one

A girl is like the weather: unpredictable, beautiful, and it scares the hell out of me

..and as the sun shone,
so did her hair;
those long, flowing streams of gold
cascading over slender shoulders.
But clouds darkened that sweet face,
doubt filled those innocent eyes
and worry straightened that smile.
My heart threatened rain
and I had to leave.
I didn't want to get caught in that storm.
Not yet...

I wish you a merry christmas...

Oh how I loathe today's society.

OBEDIENCE NOT LEARNING!

CONFORMITY NOT THINKING!

MANIPULATION NOT GUIDANCE!

So I thought, seeing as it's Christmas time, kinda, and I've been subjected to endless carols for the last few weeks, I'd analyse the meaning behind the lyrics of some Christmas songs, because if you ask me, it's pretty fucked up!

Let's start with

Santa Claus is coming to town

You'd better not shout
You'd better not cry
You'd better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town.
...
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good, for goodness' sake!


OK so a really obvious one to start with, but a doozy! You'd better learn to behave, or else Santa won't bring you any presents this year for Christmas! The underlying and not even remotely subtle message here being DO WHAT YOU'RE TOLD! And the part I personally like best about this idea, is that it is some OTHER party, someone completely unknown and unreachable, who is blamed for the potential punishment! So the parent gets an excuse to say to their child, 'Hey! Do exactly what I say, when I say it or SOME WEIRD GUY IN A SUIT IS GOING TO DECIDE YOU NO LONGER DESERVE A GIFT AT CHRISTMAS! And OF COURSE you know if it were up to ME I'D be so forgiving and understanding that I'D still give you a present, but this SANTA HAS HIS RULES!'
For FUCK'S SAKE! Can the level of lying to children sink any LOWER than this? Seriously! Way to take away their right to think for themselves, their desire to be children, and then what's best; their ability to feel anger towards the person inflicting these sufferings!
Thank GOD children aren't so dumb as to believe this crap, but the incessant repetition of the songs in shops and schools and on television hits home with an EFFECT pretty frightening for its subtlety.

Moving along.

Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it glows
All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolf
Join in any reindeer games!
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
'Rudolf with your nose so bright,
won't you guide my sleigh tonight?'
Then how the reindeer loved him
etc

So the moral of the story is, some guy everyone credits as superior decided he could use some physical attribute of someone considered 'ugly', and said ugly person happens to kick butt at something everyone else admires. Suddenly everyone who once mocked him thinks he's awesome! Well fucking great! I'd hate to think how it would have ended if Rudolf sucked at guiding sleighs but was amazing at healing the wounded or maybe comforting grief stricken reindeer. He'd still be a fucking outcast! What does this say to children? 'If you're ugly, you'd damn well better be fucking awesome at something everyone else likes!' What the FUCK kind of example is that to teach a child?! And I barely even need to mention the fact that the song demonstrates how retarded everyone is that they judged this reindeer purely on his nose and never got to know him at all until it was thrust in their faces that he happened to be awesome at something they all wanted to do. Ahh how true it is, everyone IS shallow and retarded. But do we have to tell kids that in song?

*sigh*


I'm getting kinda depressed, so I'm going to stop there. But this isn't over! The christians lied, manipulated, frightened, threatened, and finally to get their way when even all of that wasn't enough, they suddenly made pagan angels and deities 'demons' and pagan holidays 'christian holidays' such as yule - yule was such a loving, giving and beloved holiday that people wouldn't stop celebrating it, so the fucking christians turned it into 'christmas' when jesus wasn't even BORN on that day!

And joy of joys that wasn't enough for our society; christmas has come to be the driving force in our economy, the focal distraction of our youth from the reality of the world, and the single most manipulated 'good intention' in HISTORY!

And oh how wonderful it is that I PERSONALLY will be dressed as santa in our store this year. Oh how I am looking forward to being FIRED over what I plan to tell children...

....and one more, just because you kept buggin' me. This one's just for you Kim.

This Is What She Calls Home

I am such a beautiful bastard.
the wind graced across her ear.
it made her stop and cry, throwing herself in the air.
screaming aloud
'take me away...
...from all of this pain you made me feel!'
millions of lips have called this child blessed;
she held her body above our heads, dancing on our hands.
but now she cries just like you or me.
everything I did for you was so wrong.
but why did you smile in the end?
why did you smile...?




- A life once lost

A day in the life...

There's something almost poetic about a balmy morning after a night without sleep.
It feels.... right, somehow.
The wind rushes across my arms and chills my blood.
I'm barely awake but I feel alive!
Traffic is moving symmetry, so early in the morning;
everything has its place, and you just fit in.
I ride, like a passenger on a conveyor,
to a place i work, like a cog in a machine,
so that I can barely afford to act like a clone
in a world where being accepted means comforming,
conforming to a tradition even more worthless than it is stupid.

The Shadows...

I got the idea the other night, while walking Oscar.

It's the SHADOWS!

TV and magazines and electric lights and motorcars and fancy possessions distract us all from the REAL WORLD IN WHICH WE LIVE, yet there is one thing that nothing they've made can hide or eradicate; shadows!

And what's more, it is our fear of the shadows which highlights what I am trying to say! We fear the shadow because we KNOW the TELEVISION! We are familiar and so we are comfortable! Yet if we step into the dark and embrace it, we can actually see how the light is an annoyance, a hindrance to what we need and want, and worst of all, a mask upon the world which makes us see the planet as dollars, steel, concrete and paper.

They'll tell you to ignore the shadows, look at the shiny objects, a new car, a new type of fridge which tells you how much cheese you should be eating. But they want you to ignore the world because they have power over you: you give them your money.

This society hides reality from us all from the day we are born, and it needs to end if there is to be any hope for us as a race.

What really makes me sad, is that today, I don't believe we even deserve one. I'm sorry, everyone, but you are all just so MINDLESS!

Why would anyone want to save ANY of us?

Nonetheless, I sit here, holding some kind of hope for a better world... *sigh*

Comfortable terror...

Shadows stalk the city;
ravenous beasts, lurking,
prowling,
waiting for a chance..
..and then they have you.
Isolated from the electric world you know,
taken and kept from inveterate day,
you embrace as an old friend
that fear...
that from which you've always shied...
it is now all that keeps you alive;
you live and breathe,
simply to fear.
The eerie, unnatural light
under which you were incubated
should frighten you more,
yet you cling to it,
like a babe to a mother.
Comfort me... hold me...
keep the world away...
But now the beast that is reality has you,
keeping you from your true parent...
Will you open your eyes?
You have nothing to fear here...
Only salvation...
Will you run from this blinding,
blinkering society,
and finally see?
It is in the shadows
that we can finally see the world.
Not even television can keep those away.
It just makes them seem scary.
Run into them.
See.
It is the light you should fear...

Retarded....

It's become increasingly obvious to me lately, which is sad because I'd say I'm absolutely one of the most 'aware-of-it' people in the world, that almost everyone is completely retarded.

Let me give you an example, with just a short snippet of conversation. I think it needs to be pointed out, too, that both of the girls in this conversation are stupidly skinny.

Retarded girl #1: Is that all you're eating for lunch today? A muesli bar.
Retarded girl #2: Yes.
RG#1: I wish I had your will power...

What in the FUCK is WRONG with EVERYONE?! When did it become ALL THAT MATTERED that HOW YOUR BUTT LOOKS IN A THONG BIKINI IS NOT QUITE AS FIRM OR SMALL AS JESSICA ALBA'S?!
Obviously, then, there's absolutely NO HOPE for any of the rest of us, and hence we should just DIE - what point living if I don't look like Jessica Alba in a bikini. Or in my case, some jerk guy. And not in a bikini.

Or maybe the excuse will be that these girls SHOULD be aspiring to look like JESSICA FUCKING ALBA because they COULD, IF they ate celery exclusively, paid THOUSANDS A WEEK TO A TOP HOLLYWOOD PERSONAL TRAINER, and JUST BASICALLY SUCKED!!! And so for the rest of us it's OK to be ugly! WE can have 'other things' in our lives to worry about.

Hell, if you're pretty you don't need a BRAIN! Which is FUCKING LUCKY, I GOTTA TELL YOU, BECAUSE YOU SURE AS SHIT DON'T HAVE ONE!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnyway...

Then there's my FUCKING DIPSHIT BOSS to deal with: now it has freely become aknowledged by most people at work that I am doing the job of 3 people, and being paid one person's part time wage to do so. AND YET my manager cannot seem to speak to me as an equal, or even as someone for whom she has at least an OUNCE of respect!

People who condescend to me should at least know what the fucking word MEANS!!!!! FUCK!

ARGH! She's so dumb. She told me the clips on the ceiling don't need to stay where they are, 'They can be put anywhere.' No shit. Really? I PUT THEM THERE! I KNOW HOW THEY FUCKING WORK! My question NOW is, 'DO YOU?!' Because I suddenly feel somewhat MISGUIDED in my assumption that you did!

Seriously, you're dumb. AND a liar. AND useless. What do you even actually DO in the store? People always ask me, and I tell them 'She walks around being rude to people and asks me why things aren't done.' Have I covered it all? Without even joking, I've hardly ever seen you do ANYTHING ELSE! And what's more, when you DO help, you have a way of talking to me which makes me wish you hadn't.

Melina, you have made my least favourite people list, because it's one thing to be called an idiot to my face, and it's another to have the DUMBEST PERSON I'VE EVER MET tell me that, and all because I wasn't worrying about her POINTLESS TIMEWASTING EXCERCISES IN MY PAPERWORK ANYMORE. (P.s - because I don't even have time to do the damn paperwork, I tend to do it in my lunch break, and you're fucking lucky I do it at all. But that's classic IDIOT behaviour - prioritising, making decisions, and GETTING THE IMPORTANT THINGS DONE!)

AM I FINISHED?!

Melina, this one's for you. (Turn it up nice and loud, folks.)

14. Hate Your Guts

I got the call Monday mornin'
I dunno... sometime 'bout 9 a.m.
I felt down and out, left for dead,
Lost without a friend
Now how you live with yourself
'Cause child, I just don't know
But as far as I'm concerned I think ya really suck,
you're rotten and you really blow

I hate your guts
I wish that you was dead
Yeah I hate your guts
Damn right that's what I said
I hate your guts
And I wish that you was dead
I'd dig the holy myself
But I'd rather run ya over with my truck instead

Your first name should be ass
Your last name should be wipe
Believe me when I say this
'Cause I've been shit on more than twice
Well it's funny how it works
It just seems to never end
Just when ya think ya had enough
They bend ya over and fuck ya once again!

I hate your guts
I wish that you was dead
Yeah I hate your guts
Damn right that's what I said
I hate your guts
And I wish that you was dead
Ya know I'd dig the hole myself
But I'd rather run ya over with my truck instead

Start up that engine...

What's mine is mine
What's yours is mine
That's the way it's gonna be
If ya got a problem with that ya little bastard
Don't ya come houndin' me
Now I've been doin' this now
For quite a many day
I'm gonna off your nuts and shove them down your throat
And head off on my merry way

Money-hungry and greedy
Child you're just downright wrong
Ya pissed me off so many times
I just had to write this song
Everyone's got their problems
And darlin', I KNOW you sure got yours!
But you make livin' child
Damn! You make it seem like a back breakin' chore

I hate your guts
I wish that you was dead
Yeah I hate your guts
You ain't got clean ideas yeah you're DAMN right that's what I said!
I hate your guts
And I wish that you was dead
Ya know I'd dig the hole myself
But, I'd rather run ya over with my truck instead