Retarded....

It's become increasingly obvious to me lately, which is sad because I'd say I'm absolutely one of the most 'aware-of-it' people in the world, that almost everyone is completely retarded.

Let me give you an example, with just a short snippet of conversation. I think it needs to be pointed out, too, that both of the girls in this conversation are stupidly skinny.

Retarded girl #1: Is that all you're eating for lunch today? A muesli bar.
Retarded girl #2: Yes.
RG#1: I wish I had your will power...

What in the FUCK is WRONG with EVERYONE?! When did it become ALL THAT MATTERED that HOW YOUR BUTT LOOKS IN A THONG BIKINI IS NOT QUITE AS FIRM OR SMALL AS JESSICA ALBA'S?!
Obviously, then, there's absolutely NO HOPE for any of the rest of us, and hence we should just DIE - what point living if I don't look like Jessica Alba in a bikini. Or in my case, some jerk guy. And not in a bikini.

Or maybe the excuse will be that these girls SHOULD be aspiring to look like JESSICA FUCKING ALBA because they COULD, IF they ate celery exclusively, paid THOUSANDS A WEEK TO A TOP HOLLYWOOD PERSONAL TRAINER, and JUST BASICALLY SUCKED!!! And so for the rest of us it's OK to be ugly! WE can have 'other things' in our lives to worry about.

Hell, if you're pretty you don't need a BRAIN! Which is FUCKING LUCKY, I GOTTA TELL YOU, BECAUSE YOU SURE AS SHIT DON'T HAVE ONE!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnyway...

Then there's my FUCKING DIPSHIT BOSS to deal with: now it has freely become aknowledged by most people at work that I am doing the job of 3 people, and being paid one person's part time wage to do so. AND YET my manager cannot seem to speak to me as an equal, or even as someone for whom she has at least an OUNCE of respect!

People who condescend to me should at least know what the fucking word MEANS!!!!! FUCK!

ARGH! She's so dumb. She told me the clips on the ceiling don't need to stay where they are, 'They can be put anywhere.' No shit. Really? I PUT THEM THERE! I KNOW HOW THEY FUCKING WORK! My question NOW is, 'DO YOU?!' Because I suddenly feel somewhat MISGUIDED in my assumption that you did!

Seriously, you're dumb. AND a liar. AND useless. What do you even actually DO in the store? People always ask me, and I tell them 'She walks around being rude to people and asks me why things aren't done.' Have I covered it all? Without even joking, I've hardly ever seen you do ANYTHING ELSE! And what's more, when you DO help, you have a way of talking to me which makes me wish you hadn't.

Melina, you have made my least favourite people list, because it's one thing to be called an idiot to my face, and it's another to have the DUMBEST PERSON I'VE EVER MET tell me that, and all because I wasn't worrying about her POINTLESS TIMEWASTING EXCERCISES IN MY PAPERWORK ANYMORE. (P.s - because I don't even have time to do the damn paperwork, I tend to do it in my lunch break, and you're fucking lucky I do it at all. But that's classic IDIOT behaviour - prioritising, making decisions, and GETTING THE IMPORTANT THINGS DONE!)

AM I FINISHED?!

Melina, this one's for you. (Turn it up nice and loud, folks.)

14. Hate Your Guts

I got the call Monday mornin'
I dunno... sometime 'bout 9 a.m.
I felt down and out, left for dead,
Lost without a friend
Now how you live with yourself
'Cause child, I just don't know
But as far as I'm concerned I think ya really suck,
you're rotten and you really blow

I hate your guts
I wish that you was dead
Yeah I hate your guts
Damn right that's what I said
I hate your guts
And I wish that you was dead
I'd dig the holy myself
But I'd rather run ya over with my truck instead

Your first name should be ass
Your last name should be wipe
Believe me when I say this
'Cause I've been shit on more than twice
Well it's funny how it works
It just seems to never end
Just when ya think ya had enough
They bend ya over and fuck ya once again!

I hate your guts
I wish that you was dead
Yeah I hate your guts
Damn right that's what I said
I hate your guts
And I wish that you was dead
Ya know I'd dig the hole myself
But I'd rather run ya over with my truck instead

Start up that engine...

What's mine is mine
What's yours is mine
That's the way it's gonna be
If ya got a problem with that ya little bastard
Don't ya come houndin' me
Now I've been doin' this now
For quite a many day
I'm gonna off your nuts and shove them down your throat
And head off on my merry way

Money-hungry and greedy
Child you're just downright wrong
Ya pissed me off so many times
I just had to write this song
Everyone's got their problems
And darlin', I KNOW you sure got yours!
But you make livin' child
Damn! You make it seem like a back breakin' chore

I hate your guts
I wish that you was dead
Yeah I hate your guts
You ain't got clean ideas yeah you're DAMN right that's what I said!
I hate your guts
And I wish that you was dead
Ya know I'd dig the hole myself
But, I'd rather run ya over with my truck instead