Ahh, the sweet smell of victory... hey, wait a minute... that's the stench of defeat!

So the winds blow from the west, and the prediction is for chilly and acidic conditions as rental-tenant relations go between me and... well, frankly, THE REST OF THE WORLD.

:(

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnyway....

I got a reply here.... from Mr Adcock... one which does little to generate enthusiasm or belief that much will happen... but thar she blows... at least I got a giggle at the idea of the Janet reading what I said about the her.

Love and War, people. Love and war. *sigh* Why is everyone so angry these days...? :/

**********************************************************************************

(Presumably addressed to me...),

I am in receipt of your email with regards to your concerns about the way you were treated by the Property Manager at our L.J. Hooker Walkerville office.

Copy of your email has been sent to the Property Manager concerned for her reply and response.

This is the normal protocol dealing with any complaint.

Once we have receiveed the response we will evaluate the situation and advise you accordingly.

Yours faithfully

Name omitted because I've already put it here several times and I think it's funny to omit it now
Regional Manager

********************************************************


For my own further amusement, I think I'll summarise, paraphrase, if you will, what he's said here.

Dear Mr Whoever-you-are Nobody,

I read your little whinge about someone I probably know and with whom I am probably very close friends. This person, that presumably is a friend of someone else rich, will get a copy of your pathetic little correspondence, and she will use it to make you look bad in front of her mean-spirited rich friends, who are also complete bitches.

Once we have all had a good laugh at your expense, we will continue not to care about your pansy little fru-fru problems, and you and your whining will be filed in the RUBBISH folder, where you are presumably living these days.

Yours sincerely,

someone much more important and rich than you, who doesn't even NEED to be able to spell.

Don't get mad; get EVEN.

So I thought, for kicks, I'd post the email I sent to LJ Hooker frontman Rodney Adcock regarding the always lovely Janet Whateverhernameiski.

I liked it.

ATTN: Rodney Adcock,

Re: LJ Hooker, Walkerville, Property Manager: Janet name omitted for laughs.

I am writing to make an official complaint about Janet name omitted for laughs’s conduct and demeanor, both during the time as a tenant covered by the LJ Hooker group, and in the months after when attempting to recover the bond money for the property located at address omitted for laughs.

The saga began in March when we inspected the property, noticing nothing out of order, and applied for residency of the property. We were accepted.

Upon moving in we noticed a major structural problem with the house itself; it was ‘leaning’!

Now by ‘leaning’ I mean that the floor of the house was not level, or even close, and that the back of the house was considerably lower than the front.

Having noticed this, we then noticed a large number of serious problems with the house which were caused by the structural problem:

- the kitchen sink did not drain
- the kitchen sink tiles were cracked causing water to damage the wall and saturate the cupboard below
- gaps up to an inch between the walls and the floors in the kitchen, toilet, laundry and bathroom allowing in vermin and insects
- bathroom door did not close
- wall bowing out in hallway
- front door of house did not lock properly

There is a report (made by the housing improvement board) detailing all of the issues with the property, but this is not the issue. The issue is in regards to the property manager’s conduct and her response to our situation.

When we approached Janet about the problems, her attitude was uncaring and, quite frankly, rude.

I told her that we had discovered the house was ‘leaning’ and, to my surprise, her response was ‘Yes? And?’

I asked her why she had not pointed this out to us during the inspection and she told us, in a very patronizing, rude and condescending manner, that anyone with half a brain would have noticed that on inspection.

I told her we had not noticed the problem during inspection and that we felt she had been dishonest with us, to which she became very angry and started raising her voice. We asked her to fix the kitchen sink and she agreed, but a contractor came and said it needed a new bench top, which would be expensive, and the work was never done. We lived for the entire year without use of a kitchen sink. We washed our dishes in the laundry sink, as completely unsatisfactory and unsanitary as this was. Particularly given there was no actual drain for the washing machine either, so the washing machine drained into this exact same receptacle!

We were constantly told things were being done when it was plainly obvious that they were not, and Janet was completely unprofessional when approached with any kind of complaint to a point where it made us extremely reluctant to actually call her with even the slightest problem. In general, Janet was so acidic, not to mention hopelessly slow to respond, when approached about repairs that we, on two separate occasions, simply gave up waiting and called a contractor and paid for the work to be done ourselves.

After a year of paying what is legally deemed an excessive amount of rent for a property in such condition, we cleaned the inside of the house from front to back, had the yard tidied professionally and we moved. With some amount of relief, I can tell you.

Two and a half months later, I finally gave up waiting to hear from Janet and I called, asking about the return of my bond.

I was told that we owed another 2 weeks of rent which was to be deducted from the bond, and that we would be charged $150 for hauling away the boxes we left in the shed and the bottles we left in front of the house. I had no dispute with this; we left it there; it had to be hauled away. But I asked her why I had to wait so long to hear back and why I had to call to chase up the bond and she admitted she had not contacted me out of spite. She also told me I was a terrible tenant, with a chip on my shoulder, and paranoid delusions that everyone is out to get me. She claimed I should be grateful that the hot water had been fixed after the existing unit had caught fire (she quoted a dollar amount it had cost ‘her’) and she seemed to ignore the fact that it took more than two weeks for us to even see a plumber, while we called and called her asking what was happening, and that it is in fact her job to resolve maintenance issues with the rental properties for which she is responsible; as opposed to some kind of favour she was doing us ‘out of the goodness of her heart’. But I digress into bitterness and this helps no one. I am upset, and I apologise.

It is my personal opinion that property managers are quite often over worked, which causes them to be rude, and seem lazy and disorganized. But it is also my firm opinion that Janet name omitted for shits and giggles is the most unprofessional property manager with whom I have ever had the misfortune to deal, and one of the rudest, most unprofessional people I have ever met. I would personally not wish someone with such a rude and unprofessional demeanor to represent me or my company name, and I felt it was important that you were aware of who you have working for you and representing you to the public. I did not expect such treatment from such a renowned and well respected organisation which had such a reputation for professionalism and customer service. I have heard many good things from other tenants dealing with other branches of L J Hooker. It is a pity that things should come to this, but I felt it was required. Things have just gone too far and they shouldn’t come to this again.

I would greatly appreciate some further contact from you, and for some very serious follow up action to be taken, because this sort of behaviour is harassment; it is illegal, immoral and it is just not ever necessary.

Thank you very much for your time.


Yours sincerely,




name omitted because well, HERS was.

Mills and Boon and the satisfaction that only comes through belittling the life's work of others.

So this week has been tedious, strenuous and surprisingly hard to tolerate.
Frankly, it has sucked.

Knowing that my job at T.A.R.G.E.T. is over has strangely made it UNBEARABLE for me to even turn up, let alone with so much as a semblance of punctuality...

But somehow, I have found a way through it, at least as far as Wednesday.

Part of what helped me through Tuesday was the glory I beheld in amusing myself with Mills and Boon titles.

As somewhat of a backdrop; part of my job is to count and return magazines and books to the suppliers (known in the industry as "Vendors") from whence they came.
The Mills and Boon returns (Mills and Boon being instantly recognizable to all of you, I'm sure) have, since I started at T.A.R.G.E.T., been a source of great, great entertainment for me. Titles such as 'His Very Personal Assistant' and 'A Point of Pride' (I kid you not) have amused me, and somewhat surprised me, for as long as I've had the dubious pleasure of RETURNING them.

But this week was something special.

This week, I was over it.

So I began entertaining myself in the only way that I could think to; I began taking the piss.

But the amazing thing was, just how perfectly the titles fitted into my joke!

There I sat, reading titles like 'Miss Longshot' and noticing we had sold exactly ZERO copies, and saying to my co-worker: 'I guess everyone figured she was TOO MUCH of a long shot!'

And it was just amazing how perfectly almost EVERY SINGLE TITLE fitted in to the joke!

'Bought by her Husband' - obviously didn't buy ENOUGH COPIES!
'The Exciting Plan' - not exciting enough to BUY!
'How to find a Husband' - clearly not 'How to Sell Books'!

It just killed me how easily all of the titles worked with the SAME DAMN JOKE!

You know what? Reading back on it, it doesn't even seem funny.

Oh well.

Fuck you.

I do what I want.

Fuck off! Don't come following me!