Feeling kinda down, but glad I didn't drink alone tonight...

I spend my time worrying. I think other people can't stand me for a long period of time.
I don't think I can ever succeed in being nice enough to someone that I'll feel like I'm a 'nice guy'. Even if I put myself out 100% and let people walk all over me, never say a thing, I'll be upset with myself because maybe I was mad about it. Maybe I yelled at my wall, swore at my dog, punched my pillow.
I think I'm very caring, very giving, very empathetic. Is that even a word? *checks* Ok. It is. I could also have written empathic.
But I think I take this too far.In every single situation (given a conflict or not!) I find myself thinking over and over what I did, analysing, evaluating, looking from every perspective. Was what I did ok? Did what I say hurt someone? Did I have any right to be upset? Am I a horrible person for being so drunk and acting like such an idiot?
And then there's even the present continuous analysis: Am I boring this person to death?
And this never, ever seems to go away. It's clearly a problem with my brain, because it's always been there. Obviously, I'm insanely paranoid and insecure.
But this kind of self analysis, theoretically, could be a good thing, because it makes me want to be nice to people, and it should help me to be a better person, but in reality I think it sets an impossible standard of behaviour, and when I inevitably fail, I then suffer the anguish and anxiety that comes.
Then people mock me, parody me, and I feel like a caricature of myself. I feel like it's not enough that I'm not nice enough, but everyone is laughing at me 'trying to be human'. I'm a freak, and it amuses people to watch me try to fit in.
Sometimes I wish I was just oblivious...